at times

when gardening

I take off

my shoes

to feel

the ground

beneath my feet

it reminds

me that

we are one

Sacred Moment

I have just a moment

(better than an eternity without beauty)

to sit and be amazed.

Cold air made bearable

by the gracious sun.

The birds and their songs

remind me of something

I once knew

but too easily forget:

Everything is sacred.

Remember

The land

our mother

our caregiver 

our life-source

yet in her giving 

gives us the freedom 

to violate 

her

for our own profit

we rape her

demanding 

more and more

while neglecting 

to give anything back

whatever resources 

she offers 

we take

without thought of thanksgiving 

or 

gratitude

without thought of 

wastefulness 

or loss

“where there is some”

we say

“there is more”

we dry up

the land

taking 

and 

taking 

all the time taking 

we cannot take

what we do not respect

not without the loss

of things

precious and dear

we cannot hold 

something dear 

unless we remember it

where it came from

how it gave us birth 

and gives us life

more and more

we must be

(re)connected to our mother

our land

we must remember 

from where we came

a natural cycle

All things grow

and die

as they were meant to.

Being,

as it were,

not of themselves.

All things are

of themselves,

and in themselves;

it is all

connected

yet

separate.

Birth, growth, maturity, and death:

ever excluding

and

ever bringing together.

Morning Sacrament

My black coffee

tastes so good

I can’t

bring myself

to put milk

in it.

That would be

a crime against

humanity -

or at least

coffee lovers.

Outside the air

is brisk,

but not cold.

The sun,

hidden behind the clouds.

Birds sing

their

morning songs:

Praising their lovers;

Yelling at their young;

Saying their prayers.

The blue sky

spanning across the roof

of my House,

Untouched by

anything and yet

touched by all.

Where breath

in

and

breath

out

mean the same thing.

Mixing and remixing.

A place where

different and same

don’t exist.

A place where

all share

in

life,

death.

We cannot see

where one begins and another ends

and at the center

all come together

in God.

Emptiness and the Life of the Soul

The Bible, and especially the Psalms, has much to say about the religious person who feels completely abandoned by God. It is as if the soul has been left alone, void of any feeling (whether positive or negative), and has no way to approach the life-giving God who alone can illumine such darkness. This state has often been referred to as “the dark night of the soul.” This is about as good of a description that I can think of. There are many thoughts on why it is that the soul must endure such “affliction” among religious people. Some may think it is because of certain sins one has committed (I used to be in this camp); others may find it totally arbitrary. I don’t think I’m qualified to address such questions as “why.” It could be a million and one reasons why it happens, and they may not always be the same. But one thing seems to be certain, how the soul is to respond.

Whether or not you spend a little or a lot of your waking life experiencing this “dark night,” makes no difference. One does not make you more or less spiritual. I simply want to say a few things (that will be by no means new) on the matter.

Addiction is a complicated thing, and I don’t intend to demean the serious and complex nature of it here, but only want to speak a little about it because I think there is something linking addiction, or the addict’s behavior, with the spiritual life. If you have ever had an addiction (I can speak from experience here) you know that addictive behavior results in misery. This misery is often shadowed with momentary glimpses of happiness but, as every addict knows, these moments quickly fade away and leave us miserable and craving more. You perhaps could say that there is an emptiness in the life/soul of the addict that is driving them to fill it with whatever it is they choose (not that there is much of a choice at this point). But it isn’t just addicts who struggle with this (though certainly their struggles are on a different and perhaps higher level). Think about our culture. Our culture, for the most part, is built around brief moments that seek to persuade us that “life is good.” You may think of the clothing line that says just that: “life is good.” I wonder if you were to sit down and talk to each individual with a “life is good” t-shirt, if they would really believe their life is good? Perhaps the t-shirt is meant to convince them.

You can also think of happy hours. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good happy hour as much as the next guy. But it seems to me that we have created a culture that uses – that needs - these times to assure us all is well. We are not lonely. We are not unhappy. We should not feel dissatisfied. This plays itself out in the general consumeristic culture as well. We become what we acquire.

I think all this stems from the same or similar root issue of the soul: emptiness is a scary place. Our culture doesn’t like empty, and neither do we. When something is empty, fill it. Are you not feeling good about this or that, try to fix it by filling that space. Are you lonely? Fill the space by chronic relationships. Are you spiritually empty? Try reading every self-help book on the shelf. Or perhaps it’s your church that’s not doing its job. Better find another one.

Emptiness is not a bad thing, however. In fact, it is often times in emptiness that we come to truly know the Divine, as well as ourselves. It is when we can de-clutter our lives and our souls that we make the necessary space. It isn’t that God is absent and we need to make room for Him/Her. God is always present, permeating the very fabric of the soul. The problem is that we just can’t notice because of all the stuff.

So as one pigrim to another, let me urge you to de-clutter. It can be hard traveling through the mountains with an oversized pack. So throw out what is not necessary, and you will notice how effortlessly you move through those mountains (not to mention you will begin to actually enjoy your surroundings!).

When your dark night comes, embrace it. While the temptation may be to fall back into some old (bad) habit, resist it. Don’t give into the lie that God has left you and to feel satisfied you have to “do something new.” God is still there. In fact, as one mystic has said, it is in God’s very shadow that you are lost. Use these times to understand that when grace comes (and it will come), it is pure gift, and we cannot hold on too tightly to things given us.